1st of May

The 1st of May in Germany is Labor Day. Apart from that, in the Rhine region, it is connected to the old tradition of May Trees. May Trees are usually birches, which you fell the night before (actually forbidden by law - you are supposed to buy one), in order to set them up in front of your girl's house. Also traditionally, this comes together with excessive drinking before, meanwhile and after.

This story is about a few guys I know who packed a handcart with beer, an axe and a ghettoblaster with no CDs but Dr. Dre's The Chronic 2001 album. For some reason they also had two CS guns and a baseball bat.

So, they started to walk, they started to drink. It wasn't long until they shot the guns for fun, probably not aware of the sound being quite close to a real gun. No problems so far. They went on walking and drinking for hours and set up one tree or another. They were on a road next to a field, where in a ditch they found some puppet. I guess they were too drunk to bother where it came from and so it was set up in the middle of the street.

Drunk like hell, they wanted some fun and hid behind the bushes to see how traffic would react. One or two cars slammed on the brakes and curved around the puppet ar walking pace. After they had their fun, Pascal suddenly had an aggressive outbreak. He tackled the puppet into the field and ripped it apart with use of the basball bat.

The third car that passed them was unfortunately the cops.

Let's summarize: These guys 1) had two stolen trees on them, 2) listened to Dr. Dre on full volume, 3) smoked pot, 4) carried two guns and a baseball bat, 5) set up a puppet in the middle of the street and 5) were incredibly pissed!

The cops got out of the car. "We heard someone put a puppet on the street here." "A puppet? We don't know what you mean." The other cop got out his torch and examined the ditch. He illuminated the two birches but did not say anything. Short annotation: If you get caught with a stolen tree and you don't have a receipt, the fine is 500 Euro per meter. Finally he found the ripped puppet. "Oh, was that you?"

Well, that is a crucial point and you really should have a very very good excuse so you don't spent a night on the police station: "No, that was somebody else before we got here."
That was a turning point: the cops wished them a good evening and drove off.

Sometimes, you simply do everything wrong but fate won't catch you because you can't walk on a straight line anymore.